A hole in the pants goes undetected

To my shock as the pants came off tonight I found a rather large
hole in the backside. I wanted to convery the sheer size of the hole
and picked the closest thing to me...Transformer Alternator WheelJack
(a heroic Autobot). Then it occured to me that not all people can
instantly recognize the size of Wheeljack so I then picked up a quarter.
Why is Wheeljack in the picture? Well... it seemed like a waste to not
take a picture of him since I already had him positioned.

Do you see the size of said hole? It's huge! Which then started me on a
thought process of the following:
-Did anyone see said hole?
-Did they feel comfortable telling me?
-Do I have any true friends? Truely?
-How big would the hole have to be before someone would say something?
-Have never gone commando and never will.
-Could jeans have technology sewed into them so if a hole did occur
I could receive an email telling me about said hole?